Saturday, May 06, 2006

Kindergarten Fun

Today, my club, the Future Educators Club, visited an elementary school and awarded the students and the teacher a raffle prize they won while attending Cypress College's "Kindercaminata" a few weeks back. This is how my day progressed:

  1. I started out towards the college to pick up some gift bags that we had forgotten. If you aren't familiar with Cypress College, once you enter the "circle" from any entrance, you're basically stuck in Speed Bump hell.
  2. Not only do you have to bulldozer over ginormous and gargantuan speed bumps, but now you have to crawl behind a snail-mobile in front of you - someone who adheres to and over-observes the posted speed limit. I'm sorry...I didn't realize 5 mph constitutes a moving vehicle. My grandmother could walk faster! (sorry Grandma!)
  3. If you enter from the wrong entrance, you have to circumnavigate the entire asphalt sphere to get to your desired parking lot.
  4. Now that I've finally taken a circular trip around the entire school, I have to wait for someone from the Social Science department to bring down these gift bags while dodging Parking Security entrapped in these futuristic solar-powered vehicles while they dilligently write parking violation tickets. They love their job way too much if you ask me.
  5. Once I have the gift bags in my possesion, I now have to travel from Cypress to Istanbul (well...close)...to our choice elementary school in Buena Park. What was suppose to be a quick 5 minutes at the college to pick up bags, took 12 minutes, then another 15 minutes to travel less than 4 miles to my destination.
  6. I was the lucky one today...it was MY turn to get stuck behind a construction zone, detours, and a car accident. Yep...all within 0.25 miles from the college.
  7. Why is it when there are signs that warn drivers to MERGE RIGHT on the road, the cars on the right don't let you in? Where are they going? They can't get there any faster than me, the guy in front, the guy in back, or my Grandma (walking remember?). DUDE...just let me in...save us all a headache, please.
  8. Now that I've passed all the road obstacles, I head towards the elementary school making good time. They now need a new speed limit sign on the road...I'll help them create it...only this will not have numbers but rather a picture of a "BAT OUT OF HELL" mph. I crack myself up sometimes.
  9. Okay...so now I'm at the school. We do the administrative stuff by signing in and swearing that we are who we say we are and that we aren't going Columbine-HIgh-School on the staff or faculty.
  10. Now we're in the classroom ready to present the award and pass out gift bags. Alarming!
  11. These Kindergarteners are not one bit interested in the prize (a stuff teddy bear) and gift bags. SURPRISE TO ME!!! What? Wait...where are the kindergarteners and what have you done with them???? Much to my amazement...these darn kids were hungry and the bear and his bags were the last things on their minds. They booked it out of there so quick...we were just an after thought.
  12. The teacher was having major attention issues too. She was pre-occupied with her classroom management. I don't believe we had one straight conversation that made any sense at all. In fact this is a script of our dialog (I'll try and not exaggerate):

Me: Thank you so much for allowing us to come to your classroom to present their award.

Teacher: Oh sure...Kyle, on your bottom. We are very...Jeffrey...we don't touch other people. Class...can someone remind Jeffrey our classroom rule?

Classroom: Keep your hands to yourselves.

Teacher: Right! Does anyone want to show our college students our class project? Oh you gotta see the eggs...Melissa, thank you for demonstrating good behavior. Yes...so thank you for coming today. Sorry we weren't prepared to...Oh listen guys...lunch bell. Who's sitting quietly and is ready for lunch dismissal?

GET MY DRIFT?

After all I went through to get to the darn school. I now am certain that I will NOT teach kindergarteners. Nope...it ain't happening.

Bring on the middle-schoolers and highschoolers!!!!

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